Breaking The Habit
by PunkInRedTights
Summary: A songfic to the Linkin Park song 'Breaking The Habit'. ONE SHOT (contains: SI and suicide) Please R&R, its my first FF


Breaking The Habit By PunkInRedTights  
  
~*Memories consume  
  
Like opening the wound  
  
I'm picking me apart again  
  
You all assume  
  
I'm safe here in my room  
  
Unless I try to start again *~  
  
She grabbed the tube of blue acrylic paint off of her dresser and put some on her palate and then continued working on her painting. A collage of memories each one more bitter then the last. She picked up the paint brush and was about to make another careful stroke on the canvas which lay before her, but at the last moment threw down the brush and dragged her hand across it smearing all of the colors together. Paint splattered everywhere yet she did not care. Nothing mattered anymore. NOTHING.  
  
~*I don't want to be the one  
  
The battles always choose  
  
Cuz inside I realize  
  
That I'm the one confused*~  
  
Hours had past how many she did not know, she had throw the painting against the wall and then had started to destroy the plants which lined her room. One by one the leaves were ripped, the stems destroyed, the soil upturned. She had then lain down in the mist of all the mess and has stared at her ceiling. A slight knock jolted her back into reality.  
  
"Oruro? Are you in there?"  
  
The voice belonged to Scott Summers, someone she had known for most of her life as well as most of his. She did not want to answer him, so she didn't. He knocked again before opening the door.  
  
~*I don't know what's worth fighting for  
  
Or why I have to scream  
  
I don't know why I instigate And say what I don't mean  
  
I don't know how I got this way  
  
I know it's not alright  
  
So I'm breaking the habit  
  
I'm breaking the habit tonight*~  
  
"Sympathy? I don't want your sympathy. I just want you to beckon away from me and never return!"  
  
She screamed at him her anger growing. He could see it yet at the same time knew that she was lying, something about her had changed over the past few weeks ever since Alkali Lake. She stood up to walk by him but he got up to confront her.  
  
"Storm, please..."  
  
He didn't get to finish as she used her powers to fling him out of her attic loft and shut the door behind him. She walked slowly and calmly to the door and locked it. Then she let herself go once again. She started shaking every so slightly and then increasingly as she walked towards her bathroom. She looked at her reflection in disgust, and then using all of her might she thrust her fist at the mirror breaking it into hundreds of shards. But still she saw her reflection ingrained in her mind and she couldn't take it anymore.  
  
~*Clutching my cure  
  
I tightly lock the door  
  
I try to catch my breath again  
  
I hurt much more  
  
Than anytime before  
  
I have no options left again*~  
  
The white shirt which was now torn and tattered was ripped off by her now bleeding hands. She stepped across the mirror which lay on her bathroom floor not paying any attention as it cut into the soft flesh of her cappuccino colored feet. She took a hair tie off of the ledge which ran above her sink and pulled back her long hair into a ponytail. She then proceeded to turn on the two taps which hung over her bathtub. Around her were various candles which she lit, until the room was lit with a soft yellow glow. She undressed and sank into the water which felt neither hot nor cold to her. She ran her fingers from the inside of her elbow to her wrist, she stopped on a group of scars over her wrist. Three X's, neatly in a row as thought some one had done them intentionally. In the candle light she could also she trace remains of other scars literally hundreds of them running up and down her arms. They were all very old now, at least four or five years. Suddenly she felt an urge that she hadn't felt in years.  
  
~*I don't know what's worth fighting for  
  
Or why I have to scream  
  
I don't know why I instigate  
  
And say what I don't mean  
  
I don't know how I got this way  
  
I'll never be alright  
  
So, I'm breaking the habit  
  
I'm breaking the habit tonight*~  
  
The water in which she lay was now colored crimson with blood. Her blood. She finally put down the blade that had shed so much of her blood. So much over the long years, how much she wondered? She felt a wave of relief wash over her entire body. She could finally think straight, but not clear enough once more she picked up the blade and pressed it into her skin. Slicing it over and over again, each time deeper then the last. She began to feel the effects of losing so much blood but didn't care she kept on doing her deed. She slipped out of the bathtub sloshing red water everywhere. Clumsily she grabbed hold of the toilet which sat in front of her and steadied herself and walked out of the bathroom stark naked. Bare for everyone to see. Everything not just the things she wanted them to see, but the things that she had kept hidden away for years. All finally came to the surface.  
  
~*I'll paint it on the walls  
  
Cuz I'm the one that falls  
  
I'll never fight again  
  
and this is how it ends*~  
  
She heard another knock on her door and slowly walked to it and cracked open the door, all that could be seen were her eyes.  
  
"Hey Storm, me an' Jamie are about to play spades. And we were wondering if you wanted to join?" "No, Theresa that's quite alright. Maybe I'll play next time."  
  
She closed her door again and made her way over to her desk where she grabbed a pencil and started to write. She used all that remained of her energy and scribbled out a note.  
  
My fellow X-men, I am sorry to inform you of this, but I can no longer go on. I have lived this lie for to long, and no longer wish to do so. I give up I forfeit I stop. I no longer wish to play this game known as life and the only loss that shall result is my life. Go on and forget me for I am not worthy of remembrance. Mortally, Stor  
  
Her body fell limp as she started on the last letter of her name. Her breathing became ragged, and her vision blurred. She had reached the end. One last time a knock could be heard at her door.  
  
"'Ro, come on it's our turn to take the brats to tha' movies. Rogue keeps going on about some damned The Prince & Me."  
  
There was a slight pause and then he talked again.  
  
"Oruro are you in there?"  
  
Even without his heightened senses she could tell that there was worry in his voice. She looked out of her window where the sky was as calm as ever. As breath passed her lips one last time a lightning blot of unknown power lit up the night sky, illuminating everything with it's neon purple glow. And then the sky was calm once more.  
  
~*I don't know what's worth fighting for  
  
Or why I have to scream  
  
But now I have some clarity  
  
to show you what I mean  
  
I don't know how I got this way  
  
I'll never be alright  
  
So, I'm breaking the habit  
  
I'm breaking the habit  
  
I'm Breaking the habit tonight*~  
  
They all stood solemn as the sleek grey casket passed before them. Scott bore the load in the front. Logan on the other side, sounds that could almost be recognizable as crying were heard. Behind him stood Peter towering over the short Wolverine, and behind Scott was Bobby Drake. Bobby showed no sign of any emotion. And then bringing up the rear of the casket was Kurt, his image inducer fading now and then. They followed the path of rugged black carpet which led to an open grave. They set down the casket and walked back to where the other residents at Xaviers Institute for the Gifted stood. Then a priest cam forward and said a few words that did not do her justice. Logan followed by Kurt was the first to approach her final resting place and say a few words while touching the metal box that was now her home. Each of the X-men and X-children followed in suit until they had all said one final good bye to there beautiful Storm. Then they walked down the hill on which her grave was to be.  
As they walked no one noticed the figure which stood a few feet from where they had just been standing. It approached the casket. The figure spoke not and seemed not to grieve at the poor soul before them. The figure turned away and as it did caught the attention of the blurry-eyed Rogue. Rogue noticed the figure moving as thought it was not even walking. Then she saw the long white hair poke out from under its cloak. She let out a small gasp an turned to the person nearest her which was Bobby.  
  
"Bobbae, look ova' there..."  
  
She pointed but the figure was now gone and the sky was once more illuminated with a bright purple lightning bolt. 


End file.
